Bragging rights

Well, I guess that being 81 now, I can brag. I do that in some arenas/situations, but If I didn’t put it to print, nobody would know and or care. So, lets take your mind on a little trip. I know I can’t finish this in one setting, and the reason I’m propelled to now is that I have developed a mallet finger in each hand. Only started 3 weeks ago, both at the same time. I’ve done a little investigation as to the cause and there are so many inter-related, I just quit and got an appointment with a hand surgeon today. 3/19/2019.

I think I have written enough about my training and medical experiences to go ahead and put it out. There are 3 people alive that I know who can attest to the veracity. So…you know, or know of, a surgeon who has done (think of all the specialities) I have succesfully performed the following proceedures in my 40 yrs of practice. I do tell that I had medical training starting in highschool and in college. I practiced as an ER physician all thru my medical school times, and I saw patients as a primary physician when a doc would be sick or go on vacation. That started my first day in Med School. My dear friend Myron Howell, sat next to me every day in med school. He asked me if I wanted to moonlight…I’m country…I didn’t even know what that meant. So I would go maybe several times a week across the George Washington Bridge in Philadelphia to a small hospital on Black horse Pike in New Jersey. They did surgery on occasion, in the kitchen of the house (that was the hospital). The floor was flatted boards like in a bar, and we scrubbed for surgery at the kitchen sink. This hospital became part of Cherry Hill hospital in NJ.

Venous access by any design, Saphenous ligation and stripping. Ablation of some veins chemically. Repair of A-V fistula.

: Appendectomy, partial small bowel resection due to loss of blood supply and congenital deformities and torsion etc., total and partial colon resection, with and without colostomy, assist on ileal bladder procedure. Endoscopic appendectomy. Endoscopic tubal pregnancy.

tonsillectomy tracheotomy, thyroidectomy, removal of thyro-glossal cyst, repair of parotid duct, removal of parotid duct stone, myringotomy, excision of thyro-glossal cyst. Significant head and face lacerations that required plastic procedures as necessary

 

I have delivered a baby: by normal head presentation. :by facial presentation and by breech: by C-section Vertical uterus incision and Low transverse cervical incision

:Hysterectomy, abdominal and vaginal, salpingo-oophorectomy. Endoscopic…appendectomy, tubal-pregnancy.

:Cystoscopy, removal of ureteral stones, removal of large bladder stones, Transurethral prostatectomy of prostate, trans-cystic prostatectomy, retro-pubic prostatectomy. Undecended testicle, Orchiectomy, surgical therapy for penile glans urethral opening. Male and female sterilization procedures.

Nephrectomy, adrenalectomy, nephrostomy for drainage and renal pelvis stone. Removal of bladder stones by cystoscopy and litholapaxy. Repair of hypospadius in a child.

Cholecystectomy, right subcostal incision, right of midline vertical incision, endoscopic. common duct exterpation of stone. Reux en Y procedure to connect jejunum to common duct of liver, with alteration of intestinal and hepatic flow. Total and 2 more different type of gastrectomy, Rigid gastroscope, and flexible gastroscope. Placement with endoscopy of PEG tube. Colostomy, Repair of perforated esophagus (from endoscope), Gastrectomy: several types. Endoscopic treatment of Barretts esophagus.

Hernia…repair of ventral, inguinal, umbilical, post-surgery abdominal hernias. Repair of undescended testical. Marshall-Marchetti bladder suspension. Repair of cystocele Repair of diaphram hiatal hernia.  Excision of episacral lipoma and closure of fenetration.  Treatment of Jeep Riders Disease. Orchiectomy and removal of sac around testical and closure of the hernia to the abdominal cavity.

Different types of skin grafting. And different healing techniques, but immediate closure, by primary or secondary intention, and plastic proceedures where indicated, including z-plasty. 

Set a non-surgical fracture…tarsal, metatarsal phalanges, wrist, radius, ulna, humerus, femur, tibia, fibula and nasal. Plate and or nail and or screw fixation of Hip, metacarpal, patella, tibia, fibula, femur, phalanges, radius, ulna, elbow and shoulder.

Repair of double flexor tendons of palmar hand 4 fingers. Repair of proximal biceps tendon of shoulder. Surgery for Carpal Tunnel syndrome.

:Orthopedic surgery of all of those above, and include talus, navicula and calcaneus. Surgical repair of fractured hip…including Smith Peterson nail, zickle femoral fracture. and .Austin Moore Femoral head fracture……….., plate of fracture metacarpal. reduce dislocated carpal bone. excision of Mortons neuroma, excision of halix valgus. Internal and external fixation and reduction of fractures.

Rush pin procedure on radius, humerus and distal femur fractures, and a crushed calcaneous. Special surgery for congenital torticollis.

:Reduce dislocated…finger,Toe, thumb, knee, patella, femur, shoulder’

: Placed thoracic chest tube for collapsed lung, aspirated chest fluid, placed subclavian catheter, placed cardiac subclavian pacemaker catheters, performe emergency thoracotomy for open chest CPR, perform thoracotomy for perforated esophagus. Pericardial tap for blood and stab wound of heart

Performed spinous tap adult and infant. Performed Seldinger technique aorta catheter for radiologic study of kidney.

:performed open laminectomy for ruptured intervertebral lumbar disc.

Total anesthesia (gasseous and iv) in emergency surgery for vehicular rupture of bladder. Direct local anestheis block of scalene nerves for arm surgery (both by me)

Yes!  I have done all these procedures and more than my brain won’t let me remember.  It was a wonderful life.  After moving to Tampa in 1971, the referring men would use me full speed and hard work for about 6 weeks, then they would take post op care of their patients and give me a nice time for vacation or breather.  I got to see and experience the Real Florida…without snowbirds and school busses and wrecks on the three bridges across Tampa Bay.  And, perhaps above all…I never knew what I charged for Any of the proceedures.  I knew that if I was working, I was making money.  And that is another story.

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I forget his name, but

An older (60s) black gentleman was referred to me with a terrible vascular obsctruction in his forearm. It had been that way for weeks before he went to see his PCP. I was shocked to see such a incident and it was already gangrenous from mid forearm and distal. Black, smelly no motion or function. I was forced to do an amputation of his forearm. The surgery went well and he was discharged to be seen by physical therapy as additional followup and to get a prosthesis. The last day I saw him, he came to my office with a big grin and a very happy presence. In the waiting room…he stopped me to see…he pulled out a bag of tobacco, made a cigarette and lit it…all with his newfound prosthesis. It was a hook shape and it separated at the hook to allow him to grasp rather than Hook something. I made a hand rolled cigarette with such ability I was Very impressed. And then, as a fanfare, and he gestured for me to watch carefully, with his hook, he took off his hat by the brim and thru it like a discus to hang on the coat hangar in the corner. Wow. And with that, he thanked me graciously and left….the last time I ever saw him.

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3 little critters

Now then a treatise on new friends. When Mary’s Mom was dying, Nikki was very nice to her and Nikki was pregnant. So, when the baby came Mary became his benefactor of a degree. Nikki has a sister close in age Tiffany , but everybody calls her Flossi. (?) Flossie had a baby boy around that time. Her husband is Barry who is an odd type…more later on that. But THEN…the guy that got Nikki pregnant, his name is Garron. Well, Garon got another lady pregnant 5 days later. Garon is being good about the whole thing but it’s a mind trip for sure. Aidyn..Nikkis boy weighs 100 lbs.. Ryder…the half brother weighs about 30 pounds. They all have different personalities and it is a real mind trip every time they[re around. Despite being big, Aidyn is gentle and not the bully type. He loves to eat and get his face messy with food. Weird. Ryder almost always falls asleep at the table which is also weird and a bit worrisome. Evan the 3rd 6yr old of Flossy, Likes to dance and music, but he is withdrawn, eats only specific food, but is always clean and well dressed.
So Last summer, a year ago, Mary put this big swing set with a tower and a slide and climbing wall and the kids love it. We are teaching them to swim and I would guess in a week one or two of them will swim without lifejackets…if it stays warm. Then there are relatives of the kids that Ill get into later.
R

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Encounter

When my dogs have something tree’d or cornered, they make a sound that is unique and from the same spot for long times. It gets annoying and I usually have to go out and pull them away from a possum or a raccoon. So a few nights ago, they were going on and on and on, and I finally went out to stop it. We throw garbage bags in the pickup until it’s full and then take a trip to the dumpsters to empty the truck. So, with only the light from my cell phone….I went out, noticing a bit of garbage on the ground. On the other side of the truck is a bank that goes up at about a 45 degree angle and has trees and shrubs on it. There was something dark behind a tree that was about a foot in diameter and there were some leaves in the way…so stooping down I got within about 5-6 ft when I saw a large area of black fur with hairs about 3 inches long. Damn!! A BEAR! I backed out very slowly and then hauled ass to the house for my gun…and a flashlight. When I went back, it was gone. I am still on a high from it!

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Easter eggs.

Well, I”m 80 yrs and 6 months and I think I can definitely say that Now I can hide my own Easter eggs. I had to cancel 2 different doctor visits due to non-related illness, sometime in the last 2-3 months. So, I made new appointments and I knew they were coming up. So today, I went to the urologist’s office and when I went in the office girl asked if she could help me. I said I had an appointment here for 7/12 at 2:15. She said there were no doctors there today. She asked my name and put it in the system…then she told me that my appointment was for 8/12 at 2:15. sigh. So I headed for the pain management Drs office. It’s in a large building with two entrances…both with a blue canopy over the walkway. I saw a disabled parking spot right next to the awning covered and grabbed it right away. Getting to the door, there was a large sign…”We have moved”…dang, now what? There was a phone number; I got back in my a/c cool car and called the number. Now, this is in Kingsport…the closest large city about an hour from home. She started to give me directions and I sputtered that I was only familiar with the main road in that area, and asked if she could give me directions…she started again, and I had to repeat my memory loss. Then I asked if she could stay on the line and direct me and she refused as she had patients waiting. So, I started back to not far from the urologist’s office. I found a parking spot fairly close to the main door. I went in, and behold there is a waiting room so big I know it would hold 50 people. I went to the desk and she asked who I was and why was I there. I told her I had an appointment for 2:15 and it was getting close to that time now. She took my info and plugged it into her computer. She told me I was not in their system. Then she told me that I was at an orthopaedic office. I looked at my phone and I see the number for the pain clinic. I called there and asked if they had moved. No, I had apparently gone to the wrong blue awning entrance. I drove back, was only 10 minutes late for my appointment at the RIGHT place. Dang…Hurts me to admit it…but apparently, I CAN hide my own Easter eggs.

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