Vasectomies

The surgical procedure used to sterilize a male.  It is to interrupt the vas deferens, the tube from the testicle, then epididymis, then the vas, into the prostate and finally the urethra during orgasm.  There are a number of ways this can be done and I refined my technique only slightly over the years, having learned my first one during my internship.  Back then, we did them under general anesthesia at Bay View Hospital, and they went home a day or so later.  I rarely ever saw them again unless it was for an unrelated problem.

Steve Shepard D.O., was the surgeon who taught me first.  After the patient was asleep, prepped and draped, we grasped the scrotum and pulled down on the testicle of which side would be first, we then palpated the cord thru the scrotum near the top and holding the cord, we made an incision lengthwise over the spermatic cord, and then bluntly dissected till we are able to grasp it with a towel clip.  Now, a towel clip is a nasty looking clamp…generally used to clip sterile towels together when draping for surgery.  It has a single sharp tooth on each side of the pliers like tool and reminds me of a very large spiders pincers.  They have a locking device so that once closed, the piece grabbed is secure.  Yes, I too have had them applied “accidentally” to my back and yes it hurt like hell.  So then, after controlling the cord, we bluntly dissect to isolate the vas deferens which looks very much like a piece of cooked spaghetti.  Once the vas is safely isolated and bleeding controlled, we remove about an inch of it, tie off each end, replace the cord into the scrotum and close the skin.  Then we repeat the procedure on the opposite side. A simple enough procedure, and usually quick and easy.  So much so that it is done in the office as an outpatient procedure now.  Naturally, it has related stories.

The first one happened at Bay View…we did the procedure and some months later retured to Steve very unhappy.  His wife was pregnant.  Naturally we expected it was not his, but we did a sperm count and it was positive…he still had sperm.  So we took him to surgery again and repeated the procedure.  This time, we did a sperm count 3 weeks later and it was still positive.  We waited a few more weeks, repeated the sperm count and it was still positive.  We then took him back to surgery and opened him up much larger.  He had a vas deferens that was almost like a spider web.  It was quite an ordeal getting assured we finally got the desired sterility.

After Ray Rooney D.O. showed me a quicker method I was set for life.  I’ve done them in the hospital, and in the office.  I’ve done them alone, with a wife present, with a girlfriend present, with a wife And a girlfriend present, with a Boyfriend present.  I’ve done it straight, with them stoned, and with them so drunk they could barely stay on the table.  It was commonplace that I’d do one guy who worked with a group of other men and before long I’d have done a bunch of that group.

So, the time came when I decided I should have mine done.  I asked Bill Hazell D.O. if he’d do it and he agreed.  He didn’t have an office as he only did an occasional surgery at Harborside Hospital in St. Petersburg.  So, I carried a pack of sterile instruments in my car for months trying to get a time when he would be free to do it.  After my probably 3rd request, he said, “Hell, why don’t you do your own, I did Mine!”   He wasn’t lying to me.  Now, recall that I’m a dyed-in-the-wool (Heh…you should look up “confirmed” in the thesaurus) nudist so don’t be overly judgemental in the next bit,  I finally decided to do my own.  It was during the time that the first VHS camcorders were on the market and I had a JVC one.  The camera was separate from the recorder which one usually held around the neck like a side bag and the camera was connected to this recorder by a cord.  I set it all up to do my own and after lining up all my instruments and the camera so that the appropriate view was there…oh…did I mention I was nude and giggling?  I grabbed my scrotum and pulled.  Not too bad…then I located the cord and held it between my thumb and 3rd finger and I injected the anesthesia.  Not too bad so far.  Then I grabbed the cord with the towel clip and realized I hadn’t given enough time for the anesthetic to well deaden the cord.  I found it to be exquisitely tender!  At the same time, I realized that it was not the same thing as doing it with a mirror.  Right side was left side on the TV monitor and vice versa.  What a learning experience.  I started to sweat and got a little nauseated and about this time asked my wife and our friend Kathy for some help.  It was summer, we were all nudists and it was hot, so we were nude.  Nothing sexual except the procedure.  Trust me!, no erections occurred in this procedure!  I got it done and I have it on tape.  VHS…I sure hope my kids don’t throw it out.

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